Things get better
Had a brilliant night last night. One of my best friends pre coming out and I have really been growing apart but last night we sat down and we talked about it. I’m sorry we didn’t do it sooner because I agreed with her viewpoint and why we hadn’t seemed as close recently and we seem to have finally sorted out stuff between us.
Then a group of my friends asked me what I wanted to be called and it wasn’t awkward or weird it was just Adam, cool. Plus one of them who I’d only met a couple of times before transitioning and has called me Adam the whole time said I can’t even remember what you were called before, to be honest you’ve always just seemed like a guy to me anyway.
At one time I wouldn’t have thought any of these people would ever call me Adam but now they are. I feel like I’m getting somewhere, and for once I’m hopeful about the future and things changing for the better.
30 day trans challenge: Day 8
8) How do you deal with being mis-gendered by people?
I’m only really misgendered by my family now and a few others I’m not out to at all, I understand that they’re going to take time to come around. I guess it doesn’t bother me as much as it could. I don’t stop being me because someone misgenders me. I think if I was misgendered all the time by everyone then it would probably get me quite down, but yeah, it doesn’t bother me all that much I guess.
I’m deleting a few posts because apparently I have attracted some haters. I don’t want to deal with people like that on this blog which is supposed to be for me to document my transition. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and everyone’s opinion is equally valid, but I don’t want my blog over run with people arguing about my opinions. I’ll delete this post in a few days too, because like I said, it’s supposed to be about my transition.
30 day trans challenge: Day 7
7) Who do you look up to? (role models)
My Scout leader, a few of my teachers who have been unbelievably supportive to me in recent months, my friends who carry on when times are tough. I don’t know really, it’s a difficult question, I admire things in almost everyone.
30 day trans challenge: Day 6
6) Who was the first person you told about being trans? How did they react?
The first person I technically came out to was my Scout Leader, he reacted very well. He didn’t know much about trans issues but he found out places for me to get information and just offered his support and his ear whenever I needed it. At the time he was exactly what I needed and I can never express how much he means to me.
30 day trans challenge: Day 5
5) Are you active in the trans community or LGBT community?
I suppose that would kind of depend on you’re definition of active, I’m not currently in any real life LGBT or trans groups, although I am involved in several online ones.Right now myself and a few other guys are writing a trans factsheet for the scout association, but that’s probably as active as I get.
30 day trans challenge: Day 4
4) How did your family take it when you came out/ if you are not out, what prevents you?
My father so-so, he seems more open to the idea although I wouldn’t go as far as to say supportive. My mother, terrible, I can’t open my mouth without being told I’m wrong, or a liar or something else, but life goes on eh? My brothers don’t know because my mum thinks if I tell them I’ll destroy the family. Plus they’re homo and trans phobic, so I wouldn’t have said I was in a rush to tell them really.
30 day trans challenge: Day 3
3) Have you ever been outed? How?
Yes, once was by friends to other friends but their intentions were good and a few times I’ve outed myself by mistake as I’ve shown people something with my preferred name on or something else along those lines that I should have really thought about. It’s always turned out alright in the end though.
Dear Cis People,
You make up 99% of my friends, 99% of my allies and 99% of the community I live in. You are the teachers who told me that they will never think of me as less of a person. You are the youth group leader who listened when I felt like there was nobody else. You are the boss who changed my name and pronouns without hesitation.
You are the children who still think I am fun to play with. You the football coach who told me I was brave. You are the music teacher who still gives me the biggest smile when I walk past.
You are the role model who finally told me you were proud of me. You are the friends who don’t necessarily always understand, but always give 110%. You are the people who mean everything to me.
So I want to say to you, thank you.
30 day trans challenge: Day 2
2) How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why?
I thought of a few names but never seriously considered anything other than Adam, it’s not my favourite name but it’s definitely me. I picked it because it was just what I would have been called anyway. As for my middle names Daniel, again because I would have been called that anyway and then Jack, after someone who was very important to me when I was in the very first stages of coming out. I’m pretty sure I’ve written an entire post about my name actually, if anyone is really that interested.
Names I like though: Shaun, Jamie (James), Toby (Tobais) and Daniel (as a first name)